Sex is great. It’s good for your mental and physical wellbeing: releasing tension, scratching itches, raising your heart beat.
The early stages of a sexual relationship are so incredibly exciting, with that addictive swirl of nerves, desire and adrenalin pumping around your body. There’s laughter, coyness, awkwardness, affection and it keeps us coming back for more.
Fast forward a few weeks and you’ve probably gained confidence with your new partner and started to be more specific about what you like, maybe feeling brave enough to redirect attention to your favourite hot spots or introduce dildos and other sex toys. Eager to please, this is where you start to experience the real fireworks.
Ah, bliss…remember those days?
The problem with human beings is that they get comfortable, they get lazy and they get into a routine. At some point, you won’t have your hands all over each other at every opportunity. There may even – god forbid – come a time when cuddling presents a far more attractive offer than getting your groove on.
Falling into a sexual rut is dangerous as sleeping together is not just about sexual satisfaction, it’s also about emotional need, confidence, security and love. It is important to spend time with each other intimately. Otherwise, couples can become distant, disjointed and even seek comfort elsewhere.
Therefore finding ways to re-introduce love making, in a fresh and spicier way, should be a priority for both partners. The lure of the sofa may be strong at the end of a busy working day, but it can also be turned into a useful prop. Pretend you’re in the back row at the movies and start proceedings off with a slow kiss (never underestimate the power of a good kiss).
Alternatively, relax by sharing a candle-lit bath. Sip some wine, talk to each other without the TV on in the background and wash the suds off each other’s bodies. Then indulge in an early night.
Even when you’re eating, make the effort to sit at the table and actually look at each other. Feed each other aphrodisiac, luxurious foods, perhaps making ‘alternative’ suggestions for dessert.
Try to recapture the lust and longing of those first few months together, reminisce about what he/she did that made your heart effervesce with pleasure and why you fancied each other in the first place. It won’t be long before you are recreating some of your favourite moments; possibly saving your relationship.
Who knows, you might even fall more deeply in love.